January 28th is an anniversary. A bad one, k?
I am scared cuz it’s a bad date of a bad thing that hurt Em but it’s going to be different this year. Rinnie and Elle are not here making everything go good and Em’s trying to take care of Rinnie but what if she falls apart like she does every year and Rinnie needs help?
We can’t get to them. They are tucked away in a safe place for healing. I am going to hope that they will be safe enough and that we won’t need Elle for any health stuff. Evie is doing her best to take care of us and give us meds when we need them but I still worry.
It’s hard to communicate without Rinnie or Elle to filter. Everything feels off balance and people are confused. We have to keep writing notes so we know what we’re doing. This morning I didn’t know what day it was and when I looked at the calendar I wasn’t even sure what week it was. I had to check the computer.
But we know the 28th is coming cuz we can feel it. Like the body doesn’t have to keep track cuz it just knows that someone bad hurt it many years ago on that day and out of respect it remembers cuz Em was made to keep quiet for so long. Now the body wants to scream every year so someone will hear.
Taryn I’m sorry that happened to Em and that everyone is struggling. I really hope things get better soon. But if the body still needs to scream I will listen, I will hear it. I promise you and Em.
-Logan
Taryn maybe its time to scream now that you will be heard. This will be a tough few days. Hoping the computer or something can keep your mind busy while you process the cruelty of what happened. I am so sorry you were hurt. It was so not fair.
Listening.
And thinking of you all.
Wishing desperatly that there was something I could do.
So scream, scream loud hard and long. I do it by taking as deep a breath as I can, scream till all the air is gone, force a little more out till I start to feel a little light headed and then because I screamed with all the force and strength I can muster I feel exhausted, BUT I feel so much better.